Sunday, November 18th, 2007
attacks
i had the luxury of spending some time to talk with my dad, and i was sharing about how disappointed i was with my last midterm.
how it didn’t go according to what i had expected. how the time i put in – didn’t reflect how i preformed. i was very disappointed. to the point where i didn’t know how to react. like how can someone who fully understands a topic, fail?
it wasn’t like i had prayed to God to ask for help when i didn’t put in any work. it wasn’t like i was praying for something unreasonable either. so i was genuinely puzzled. in all that i did, i put God at the center – powering through my studies, to the point where i could teach someone the concepts without confusing them. to put it simply, i was confident.
in a sense, i felt like i should’ve aced it. i did a ton of past midterms, all the practice questions. but unfortunately for me – my prof has taught the course for the last 3 decades of his career, which meant there was a lot to pull from a bank of questions. (and let me tell you, his questions are ball breakingly hard. if you havn’t seen it before, you probably would have a hard time tackling it)
so i came out of the midterm pretty bitter too. i probably did more sets of past midterms than alot of ppl, but the ones that came out ontop were the ones that got lucky! not necessarily the ppl that studied and knew the stuff.
so my dad was listening and talking it out with me, and like there’s the usual advice like to fully rely on God, to change your mindset, to continue working hard… but the one thing that really stuck out to me was how something totally unrelated tied back into this situation.
cause i was also sharing about my spiritual walk with God this term, and i mentioned that it was doing well. infact, the reason why i decided to commit to being on committee this term was that I would trust in God. to come to know him even stronger that i had before. and as far as i could tell, all was well.
but like when everything is going well, my dad mentioned that there will be attacks from the devil. to pull you down, to prevent you from doing God’s work. and everything I expected God to help me with this term had gone awry – and for the longest time i couldn’t tell put my finger on why. sometimes i would just justify it by saying that it was in some other plans for me. or that it was preparing me for something bigger (which could be true)
but really, if the devil wanted me to accuse God, or to get me to be angry with him. this would be the perfect way to do it. infact out of that whole situation with the midterm, i’m suprised i didn’t accuse God of anything. and i was reminded that spiritual warfare does exist, and that just cause we dont see it. doesn’t mean that it doesnt exist.
so it was just really eye opening to see another perspective on the problems i was having, and being reminded that if we trust that God will provide, and God is faithful – we will come out on top.
so dont be discouraged, dont doubt, dont blame. remember the story of Job and always rely on God no matter what the situation.
dont let the devil attack your relationship with God.
proverbs 3:5-6
trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. in all your way acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.
this is perhaps my most treasured childhood verse from the Bible. like nothing trumps this except for like, john 3:16 which is too cliche.
but really, just trust God will take care of you. dont push him aside for anything, or to get frustrated over any preconceptions you might have over a situation. but to lift it all up and fully rely on God.
so when your doing something great for God. dont let the devil push you around, but rather let the man upstairs do his thing, and trust.
just trust.